If your marriage has reached the point where you or your ex have decided that it's time to move on without one another, you're probably at a point where your stress levels are high, your feelings are hurt, and you're looking for some sort of closure to the unhappy situation. Oftentimes, this closure is divorce, and the realization of what's happening can be chaotic. This is when you're most vulnerable to making the biggest divorce mistakes. Here are the top five mistakes that men and women make when filing for divorce and what you can do to avoid them: 1. Bringing a "Friend" Around The Kids Too Soon: Dating After Divorce.
It's tempting. There is a new "someone" in your life who is supportive and you are grateful to have him or her in your life. Naturally, that means introducing him or her to your children, but don't jump into this new family dynamic too soon.
Children of divorce are frequently confused by this and it will most likely infuriate your soon-to-be ex. Your ex will respond less angrily throughout the divorce if you exercise prudence and allow him/her a little time to get over the marriage. 2.
Taking Divorce Questions to Friends For Legal Advice. If your friend is a divorce lawyer, this is the only occasion to ask a friend for advice about your divorce. If not, leave the legal advice to the divorce attorneys who know what they are doing and know the intricacies of the law. It's like asking for medical advice from someone who isn't a medical professional.
You'll get conflicting divorce advice from well-meaning friends, and it will drive you crazy because you won't know what to believe. 3. Hiring the Cheapest Lawyer.
Trying to get a cheap divorce isn't always the best idea. You'll want a divorce lawyer that will spend time with you and answer your questions. If the attorney's fees frighten you, talk to him about it and ask for a flat fee - and ask him to outline the services he'd provide for this fee.) 4. Hiring the Meanest Lawyer. The meanest lawyer isn't going to get you the divorce support you want.
You can enjoy the results you want from your divorce from an assertive divorce attorney. And anyway, an obnoxious, surly divorce lawyer often makes the judge enraged if your case gets to trial. You would make a costly mistake if you look to hire an attorney for your divorce who is mean-spirited.
5. Ignoring the Truth. You've made the decision to go forward with the divorce. Now is the time to be honest with yourself and make some changes. You've got to face the facts: divorce as well as marriage involves learning your lessons for each experience. What you want to do is make sure that you don't find yourself falling into the same patterns that got you here and making the same mistakes you made before.
Honor the truth you really.
Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents", his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com